Foorlin's Dragon Slayers
by Bex the Bold
Summary: Ok this is a PG13 because of the language but is extremly funny or will be once I get more chapters up. It's about a girl named Foorlin and her wiccan pal's who are tranfered to a nother world and meet Dilandau (gets slaped by foorliln alot) and his drag


Chapter #1

**A NEW PLANET**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Escaflowne characters or things like that, those lucky basterd's that thought them up do. But I do own Tammy, Tarri, Anna, Alex, Jenny, and Foorlin because I created them. (and one of these days I'm going to find out the correct spelling for gea)

There was a tap tap noise of rain as Tammy walked into the park. She looked around for the rest of the pack. The pack as it was called was a group of Wiccan teenagers that were also beat friends, they were always together no matter what. They were suppose to meet in the park and talk about a new spell that they were going to try out. 

"Hey hey Tammy waz up?" Yelled her best friend Anna.

"Hey how long have you been here?" She responded.

"Not long. You?"

"Just got here"

At that moment the others arrived in-groups of two or three. They were all there. Tammy, Anna, Alex (short for Alexandra), Jenny, Tarri, and Foorlin. Foorlin scowled at Tarri for some reason they had never truly gotten along. Foorlin was a cross dressing Goth with a very mean attitude towards people she didn't like, not that you can tell her moods being a Goth she had one facial expression her depressed scary looking frown. Tarri on the other hand dressed Goth but was almost always smiling and cheerful, even thou he was the only guy in the group they got along fine. Jenny was one of those twiggy types, but she was always responsible and caring. Alex was more of one of those pretty girls in school that every one wants to look like, and had a bichy attitude. Then there was Anna the queen of scream, if you started any argument with her you would lose it. She has that unique ability to turn your argument around and turn it ageist you while screaming her head off and looking like an insane person. Lastly there was Tammy she was one of those quite type when she wants to be.

They walked up into a clearing that they only knew about and lit some candles. Next they casted a cercal and they all sat down in the middle chanting...

~On gea~

Dilandau was sitting in his guymelif weighting to attack the escaflowne and destroy it once and for all. They would set an ambush and then capture the guymelif and kill Van and that stupid tomboy in a skirt that was always fallowing him around. 

~On earth~

They had stopped chanting and all had gone into a deep meditation. Then there was an emerald green pillar of light that dropped down from the sky and engulfed them. They were lifted up into the sky and dispersed from site.

~On gea~

"What's the matter with you?!" Dilandau yelled "your missing him"

"It's almost as if he can see us." said Gatti.

The clocked guymelifs surrounded the escaflowne in the pond that Van had thought would help him. They were going to finish off the escaflowne once and for all so Dilandau was all giddy. 

"Vaaaannnnn!!!!!" Dilandau yelled from his guymelif "your going to pay for injuring my beautiful face!!!!!!!"

Dilandau was about to jump on Van when an emerald pillar of light engulfed him, and sucked up into the havens. The other dragon slayers stared dumb founded.

_"What happened? Where the hell is Dilandau?"_ Falcon's voice crackled over the intercom.

"He dispersed. Sucked up by that light." Miguel said.

_"Sucked up by the light? Fine just get back here, forget the dragon for now. We have to find Dilandau"_ Falcon ordered.

"Yes Falcon" they all said, then they turned leaving the puzzled Van to wonder what the hell had just happened.

~not so far away~

Two pillars of light joined to become one. Then together they fell to the ground. Dilandau's guymelif landed with a loud smash crash and a lot of cursing. There were also six smaller thuds next to his guymelif, fallowed by not so nice curses also.

"Fuck me that was my arm"

"Shit!!!!!!!!! My leg owwwwww!!!!!!!!! O goddess it hurts"

"Terri if you don't get your fat ass off of me I'm going to rip you a new one!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dilandau heard this and opened the hatch to his guymelif with his sward drawn. 

"Who the hell are you?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He's got a sward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Anna screamed. "He's going to kill us aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh--"

She stopped screaming suddenly and reached into a pocket to pull out some sour patch kids. "O MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THAT I ATE ALL OF THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She sat down suddenly and began to eat them.

_'What kind of dumb ass's are these people?' _Dilandau thought. "Who are you?!!!!!" He ordered.

"That's Terri, Anna, Alex, Tammy, Jenny, and I'm Foorlin. If you do not mind me asking who you are and where we all are?" Foorlin answered his question. 

Dilandau walked over to Foorlin and looked her up and down.

"I asked the questions here. Now I've never heard names like that before where do you come from?" He asked Terri.

"We come from--" Foorlin said but was cut off buy Dilandau.

"Shut up woman I was talking to the man not you!!!" Dilandau yelled.

Ok this was a big mistake on Dilandau's part you do not say any thing sexist to Foorlin.

SMACK!!!!!!!! Foorlin punched Dilandau so hard in the face she knocked him unconscious.

"O MY GOD FOORLIN!!!!!!! Look what you did and he's really hot to I mean look at him you know he has to have some abs" yelled an upset Anna.

~on the floating fortress~

"He just disappeared, vanished into thin air with out a trace. But how can that be?" Falcon wondered. 

"Master Falcon we have received word that a strange pillar of light was sighted about twenty miles of into the west." A soldier told him.

"Very good send the dragon slayers to see what is there." Falcon ordered.

~back with Dilandau and the others~

"Ooo, My head...-" Dilandau moaned. "What the hell happened?"

"Foorlin hit you pretty hard you shouldn't move." Jenny said. "Um... If you don't mind me asking' what is the name of this planet. It looks pretty amazing. I can't believe that the spell that we tried actually worked."

Dilandau sat in a up right position, he looked around to see that the others were looking at the trees and that girl Foorlin was off by herself sitting neat a tree. 

"What do you mean when you say what is this planet called?" Dilandau asked thinking that he was stuck with insane people that one of them could beat the crap out of him. "Were on Gea where would we be?" He gave Jenny a weird look.

"Well we come from earth." Guessing from the blank expression on Dilandau's face she looked up and pointed to the mystic moon.

"By the gods you come from that accursed place!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled.

Before Jenny could comment on how the earth was not a cursed place there was a high pitch noise of guymelifs coming closer. Dilandau stood up and weighted for them to land.

~the guymelifs~

"Mugel I think I see Lord Dilandau's guymelif over there!!!" Gumel yelled over the intercom. 

"Yeah I see it to!" Replied Miguel.

They landed in the clearing where they found their master, which welcomed them with a SMACK!!!! and "what the hell took you so long!!!"

Dilandau talked to Falcon over the intercom while the dragon slayers tried to talk the girls in the group to put on something that at least covered there stomachs. 

"Please just put on my jacket and stop complaining." Pleaded Chesta.

"You know shroom-boy your kind of cute" Replied Alex. This caused Chesta to blush uncontrollably. 

"Just put the stupid jacket on!!" Yelled Gatti.

"O you so did not just try and tell me what to do!" Said an almost pissed off Tammy.

Mean while off on the other side of the clearing Gumel, Miguel and Dalet were trying to wrestle a pissed off Foorlin into a jacket that would cover her halter-top.

"I SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed as they climbed on top of her to try and force her down but to no avail.

~on the floating fortress~

Falcon could hear the pitiful pleading of the dragon slayers trying to talk to the people that he had been told were from the mystic moon over the intercom. 

_"Please put it on you said that you found me attractive so do me a favor and put the jacket on"_

"O that jacket?" one of them said flirtatiously.

"YES that_ jacket, just put it on!!!!!!!!"_

Then in the back round Falcon heard

_"ATOMIC BICH SLAP!!!!!!"_

SMACK!

Then

_"Holy shit she just slapped Dalet and he went flying!!!!! Not even Lord Dilandau can hit that hard!!!"_

"Do you want me to BICH slap you too little man!!!"

That was followed by a noise of moving feet away from the one voice.

Author Note: Ok what do you think this is my first fanfic that I actually felt like typing up. I know that there is swearing in it but that's just my twisted scene of humor. All I have to say is please REVIEW be kind and review. O and sorry for spelling errors I suck at that.


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